CommuniKate

When Dick Cheeeney was asked why he had not served in Vietnam, he harrumphed that he “had other priorities in the ‘60s than military service.” Like applying for six deferments.

Side note: come to find out, the very long E in “Cheeeney” is the family’s preferred pronunciation of their surname. The ubiquitous-as-homemade sin, Liz Cheeeney announced this top-secret fact on a morning show, and now Chris Matthews has dropped the long A in Chaney and cheeses out Cheeeney whenever he can. I just thought he was being sarcastic. I won’t tell you how my household still says the name.

But forty years after the 60s, prioritizing is still a problem.

As much as I was fully prepared to be disappointed in the Obama administration, I am surprised by my disappointment. They seem to have other priorities than full civil rights for LGBT people.

And heck I know Obama has a lot going on – health care, the economy, two wars. I’m not one of those old coot guys complaining that Obama’s trying to do too much. I think they’re just jealous of his energy. In fact, under the federal radar, many things are changing at the agency level. The US Census will now count married gay Americans. The Employment Non-Discrimination Act, now unrecognizable from its early iteration, creeps through committee. Hate Crimes legislation moves forward.

After an LGBT firestorm greeted the Justice Department’s review of the Defense of Marriage Act with its concluding argument that put gay marriage in the same paragraph as pedophilia and incest, the White House quickly announced domestic partnership benefits for some federal employees. Coinky-dink? Ya think?

It was perhaps symbolic that the photo op of Obama signing the memorandum entitling federal employees to the equivalent of a gift certificate to the early bird special at The Olive Garden in Bethesda [one time only!] seemed to chop off the heads of the gay leaders present behind him. Awkward.

In our house, we often wonder if Obama has any gay advisors close to him on staff. The fact of the matter is two thirds of the Obama administration is former Clinton staffers. They are still traumatized by the early hijacking of their administration by the issue of gays in the military. I’ve always thought when the history of that moment is written, it will be revealed that some Republican mole was in the crowd whenever Clinton jogged on the mall or stopped in at McDonalds and would shout “What about gays in the military?” Finally Clinton just offhanded something off-message and undisciplined like “yeah, we’ll look into it” and off the rails we went.

The Clinton people in the Obama administration still seethe when they recall the day Clinton’s OMB was announcing exciting details of their new budget to an empty room because the press was over covering cranky little Sen. Sam Nunn giving his report on the difficulty of humping in confined quarters on submarines. Mind your head! The disastrously chicken Don’t Ask Don’t Tell non-solution became the cynical mantra of the next sixteen years.

I don’t really want to hear how naïve I am in the ways of politics. Save it. I have grown up a lot in the sixteen years since the Clinton years. So has the gay movement. So has America. It’s time for the Obama administration to gut check their priorities.

“Well there’s a job I never wanted,” my mom once remarked as we watched an elephant trainer on some TV variety show putting a pachyderm through his paces. If I remember correctly, the gentle, possibly drugged, giant was in a top hat and tails doing “Putting on the Ritz.” I said, “I’m glad you are narrowing down your career choices.”

I never wanted to run a bankrupt car company either, but as a taxpayer apparently I now own one. Okay, here’s what I want done by next Tuesday: change the name “General Motors” to something less militaristic. I like “I-Cars”. As a matter of fact I’d like the Apple people to oversee the transition. Start with an I-Phone and then just add Applications like wheels, an electric motor, and a lightweight body. Even if they name it “I-Lemon” and the battery runs down after four hours, people will buy it if it’s in cool packaging and they get a coupon for a free hour at the genius bar down at the virtual showroom.

Forget it, I love my job, even though this June Gay Pride I am so bored with heterosexism, I could scream. The world is tanking and all they want to do is protect opposite marriage. Puhleeze. Get over yourselves. North Korea has a dying, wack job leader with nuclear weapons begging for attention. Look up.

Can you tell I was just in California? The state is suffering from the long range effects of the 1978 Proposition 13, a short-sighted cockamamie proposition to limit property taxes and the 2001 Cheeeney manufactured energy crisis that brought down Democratic governor Gray Davis. California like GM is in bankruptcy proceedings. But mostly they don’t want gay people to get married. Some nut-job, Bill O’Really, will soon suggest-demand that the 18,000 gay married couples be detained on Alcatraz so they can be quarantined.

But NCLR, the National Center for Lesbian Rights, the heart of the LGBT movement, managed to throw a fund-raising party that would have made Celine My Heart Will Go On Dion proud. I emceed the dinner in the gorgeous St. Francis Hotel. Actress/activist Jane Lynch presented the Voice and Visibility Award to Ilene Chaiken, well-heeled creator of The L-Word; Noemi Calonje NCLR’s brill immigration attorney presented the Community Empowerment Award to El-La, an amazing force for the Latina/o transgender community; and NCLR’s indefatigable Shannon Mintner presented the Justice Award to Lara Embry, an NCLR client from Florida who challenged FL’s mean-spirited foster care laws. The after-party was a dance to delirium event. I think I saw Miss USA California, Carrie Prejean. Pass it on.

In the waning days of May, I had two great book pleasures. After the Memorial Day weekend working at the Crown and Anchor in Ptown, I went into Boston and met with my book team at Beacon Press. It happened to be the same day that Beacon announced that they would be re-publishing all the writings of Martin Luther King. It was the end of a three year negotiation with the King estate, and Beacon with its long Unitarian history of publishing works about racism, poverty, pacifism is the right publisher for the necessary task. I’m proud of them and even more amazed to have my book, I TOLD YOU SO, on their roster.

That night I did a reading at the Brattle Theater sponsored by the Center for New Words. I was honored to be the last in their long, important author’s series and glad to hear that this fearless group of feminists is transforming itself again. From a 28 year old bookstore to a six year stint in programmatic development, they are fearlessly changing again. In the face of economic exigencies, I hate you George Bush, they have decided to focus on their internationally acclaimed Women, Action and Media Conference. WAM! The goal is develop progressive women’s voices and ideas in the new world of media and communication.

The next day, I shuttled back home to New York and presented three Lammy awards at the Lambda Liberty Awards. My categories were Lesbian Romance, Mystery and Erotica. It was a trifecta of fun. So much fun, that I forgot to mention that I have a new book out – I TOLD YOU SO – have I told you about it? – and was promptly fired by my publicist Michele Karlsberg, who was in the audience. Just kidding. But I’m on probation.